What I’ve been up to
So except for the occasional update on my photo projects, I’ve been on a mini-hiatus from the blog. Sorry but with the fellowship pitfalls and the hubster out of town, I haven’t exactly been feeling my most creative. Or even particularly happy for that matter.
Its not that I regret the fellowship. One third of my way through it, I already feel like I have learned more about OMM than I have in the last three years. And I am having a blast teaching the students. But…sigh… its all the time between didactics, clinic hours, and labs that leave me lying in bed each morning, trying to motivate myself to get dressed and come in. Luckily I have a shiba to attack me at 7:50 sharp.
Sometimes the office is fun. James will fix my OA headache like no one else can. I’ll fall over laughing at Zach’s exquisitely timed “thats what she said.” Bethany will text me during lecture to remind me of Tequila Tuesdays! And my mentor will paper clip our phone cord and then call us so we’ll smack ourselves with it. But then other days there is tension between the fellows, my mentor is making me feel stupid, my boss is yelling at me, a student gives me attitude, I have no idea what to do for my patient, my ass looks huge on the jumbotron lab projector, and GOD I need a coffee!
I know, I know. Nothing I haven’t been through before, right? Hello surgical rotation! But this is different because this isn’t medicine, its office work, something I said I’d never do since the day I visited my mother’s dismal gray cubicle. And this time of year, the cold… colors changing… the smell of burning leaves… it reminds me the most of her, when things started to go wrong. Then every year other stuff goes wrong about now. I don’t it know, it just all… stresses me out.
The biggest issue though is that I don’t have much of a pressure reliever. I have some friends in town that I can meet up with, great friends I can call, and coworkers that entertain me highly, but at the end of the day, I am still incredibly lonely. I miss the hubster and my girls. I miss affection. I think the last time I had a hug was 3 weeks ago when I took a road trip with Katie to visit Jess.
I have tried to take my mind off things and feel connected as best I can. Calling hubster and friends. Visiting home. Working out. Taking the dogs on excursions. Tequila. But really, I just feel like I am merely surviving until Josh finally gets back on October 30th, and things finally get back to normal. Which, luckily, is very soon.
I’m not meaning this post to be a downer. I’m just saying, I haven’t had much to say other than work sucks, learning alot, and I’m bored most weekends. When Josh gets back, alot of stress will be off my mind which also may free up some creativity again. Or at least give me interesting fodder for stories. He can be a pretty goofy bastard. I’ve missed that.