Breaking the Silence
I am so happy to be back in civilization. Or at least somewhere that has computer form earlier than 1994 and doesn’t smell like pig shit.
I have lots I want to write about and pics I’m dying to show you from my new camera, but I am exhausted and not particularly creative. Or grammatically correct for that matter.
So, while I was gone and had little access to the outside world, I relied on text-messaging to keep from going all bibbity. I thought I’d share some….
-Josh says I can’t adopt babies while I’m gone. Does stealing one count?
–#2 reason not to head to the local bar: Professionalism. #1? Possible rabid fox attack.
-There is no cordon in my cordon bleu. I just got the blue!
-I did a mini-mental health exam on a 90 yr old who thinks it is 1980. I asked her to write any sentence she wanted. Her sentence? “I am not going to the hospital!” Seems pretty with it 🙂
-See this scar? Cheetah bite. Pretty badass.
-I approve of anything called “the baconator.”
-I just want to pat Danny Bonaduce’s head and say “poor little bunny.”
-A question from the stripper patient who just tested positive for herpes: “Can you get it from the pole?”
-The definition of overkill: opening a beer with a helicopter.
-I have gagged twice in life. Once after Roxy had diarrhea. Today was the 2nd, when a woman came in after taking off her boot cast. She couldn’t have washed it since she took it off yesterday?!
-I just met a doc with a mullet and a Broncos themed white coat
-Just worked up a psych patient whose legal name was Never Too Late.
-I slept in the ICU last night and had cake for breakfast
That last one is a good story 🙂