Day 20: Tom Cruise, I’ve been taking vitamins and they just ain’t workin’!
Obviously I’m not postpartum, but there’s been a running theme this week of Michelle being the crazy, stressed out medstudent… a mere shell of her former chillin’ Type B self.
Ya, I miss her too.
So I went to do something about it last week. I met with Thom the counselor. He agreed that it is not normal to be so apathetic about your day that its too much energy to drink the coffee Hubby made. Sitting right there in front of you. Ready to go. Its not normal for me to not want to brush my teeth or shower (Hey, not showering in the past has always been a time issue, the desire for hygiene has always been there). Its definitely not normal for me not to want to do OMM. So, he sent me off to the doc to be evaluated. After an incredulous, “A depressed, stressed out medstudent? What what WHAT?!”…she agreed. Now I have a sample of Lexapro.
I’m not ashamed that I need a little pharmaceutical help. But I have to say, I did take pause when the possibility was brought up. You can’t help but think about the stigma of being on “happy pills.” I’m not sure what my stance was on anti-depressants before all this. I guess I assumed there were some people with a chemical imbalance that needed some help, but that wasn’t me. Some fresh air, a little exercise, a relaxed outlook on life and a good night’s sleep is all I needed! I’d think “Whats the matter baby? Can’t handle the HEAT? Med school is hard, buck up!”
Well, after almost 2 years of med school (& 4 years undergrad!) of trying to do that in the face of all night cram sessions, poor diet, intermittent exercise, personal losses, and a serious lack of control over my future…my normal coping mechanisms have been exhausted. And since I am in a very unique situation being in medschool, people have been way more supportive than the voices in my head.
Here are the two categories of responses since revealing my decision:
1) Ok, well, be careful with that. Hope it helps you concentrate on boards!
2) Damn, a free trial pack? I’ve been needing to get on something since neuroanatomy.
Good luck with that. Fucking boards!
I’m sure you can guess which response was from my friends.
I’ll let you know how the trial goes.