Day 16: Mother’s Day
Dear Aunt Shell, Kim & Wendy,
Along with my birthday being right around the corner, today is also Mother’s Day. I think I am lucky in that way because it keeps me close to mom. A day of fun and happiness is not bogged down by sadness that she is gone, but rather it is coupled with a day to remember my love for her and show her she is not far from my heart. What better way than margaritas at the club?
Both days also remind me of her love for me. How even when we went through the typical adolescent mother-daughter fights, my presence was a gift to her. A daughter doesn’t realize how much that love means until it is gone. Its hard to imagine its depth and unwavering character short of God’s love. At times when I am at my most vulnerable and trying to find my way in this world, I miss that advice, that sooo embarrassing advice. And the silly 5 year old nicknames. And all the love and confidence in me behind it.
But why am I writing you? A few reasons really. One is to let you know that you women have been examples of the kind of woman I want to be. All of you so full of imaginiation and spontaneity and hilarity. You are not afraid to dream too big or laugh too loud. Just really…so full of life. I miss the current of energy and love I feel when I am with you all.
Another reason is I have a request for a birthday present. Every year you send me very useful things that am very happy to receive and I spend them on things I want, but there is something I need that only you can provide- memories. Mom didn’t share alot of her life with me. I think she was worried about being one of those boring moms who would rattle on about traumatic childhood experiences, or use phrases like “When I was your age…” Or maybe she was afraid to admit how much she beat up on Robbie. I also hadn’t really gotten to the age where I would ask about such things. So I was hoping that you could write me with a special memory you had of her. Perhaps with a picture. I would just like to get to know who she was outside of “mom,” because right now the main thing that saddens me still is that its too late to ask.
Lastly, I wanted to wish you all Happy Mother’s Day! I love you all so very much. I really do consider you as my 2nd mothers. I wish I could be up there in Maine with you…maybe some day! Or at least a visit real soon 😉
Because I care about you so much, I make a request- I know things get crazy with 3 kids and running businesses and such, but please take care of yourself. After all, its not selfish to take care of the mother of your children. If you are not already doing so, schedule yearly mammograms, and please please PLEASE get genetic testing done for the BRCA breast cancer gene. And then let your daughters & I know b/c if its positive then we’ll need to be tested as well.
Well ladies, my cousins better be doing something nice for you all today. Enjoy the festivities, and hope to talk to you again really soon!