The Best of Collegehumor’s stupid quotes
Not mine. Repeat: from Collegehumor. Not mine.
Because I live it….Medical-
Professor: The textbook example of a person’s blood pressure is 120/80.
The Brilliance: Can’t you reduce that value to 3/2?
During a lecture about genetic disorders, specifically little people.
Einstein Jr.: So, when a little person is born, are they just, like, super tiny or what?
Instructor at Nursing school: If someone had shortness of breath and complaining of chest pain, what would you do?
Worst Nurse Ever: Call 911?
Instructor: You are 911.
In Life Span Development Class during a debate on fetuses
Brilliant Young Woman: Is it true that 33% of all women who have abortions don’t even know they’re pregnant?
In biology, the professor is discussing grooves on the stomach called rugae and their effect on the stomach growling
Professor: These rugae are found on other organs as well, including the vagina.
Brahptimus Prime: So vaginas can growl, too?
Because you’d be surprised how often I hear this kinda crap….
In a pathogenesis class, looking at the incidence of gonorrhea by year:
Professor: What do you think caused this increase here? (Points to around 1963)
Closet Racist: Civil Rights?
Professor: Half of the people that ever existed are alive today.
Complete Moron: But doesn’t that depend on who you consider a ‘human being’?
Prof: “The contributions to society made by these native Indians are huge”
Stupid Guy: “Yeah, didn’t Indians invent fire?”
Even Stupider Girl: “Umm I’m pretty sure HUMANS invented fire!”
In a US History class, during a discussion of slavery.
Professor: The three-fifths compromise was an agreement reached between
the North and the South under which only 3/5 of slaves counted towards a
state’s population in the House of Representatives.
Genius Girl: Wait… slaves count as one now, right?
Professor: *Asks girl to leave*