The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow
I once read a book called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I really like it b/c it enforces that you can handle anything that comes your way. Follow it with Loving What Is by Byron Katie and you feel like there is nothing in the world that can stress you. Pretty nice feeling.
Anyhoo, why I bring up Feel the Fear is b/c in it, it discusses how if you diagram your life, it will consist of a big square grid (the complete you) filled with a bunch of little squares (aspects of your life). So the more you have going on in your life, the more interesting the picture is, and the less of a hole it makes if you lose a piece. Like say you’ve made your boyfriend your whole life, forsaking your family, friends, career, hobbies, etc. If he leaves you, you’d have absolutely nothing and want to kill yourself. Whereas if you kept all those other pieces of your life, you could have much more perspective on the loss.
I plan on seeing how my grid is doing each week in a sort of weekly roundup of my activities. See if I’m consistently neglecting certain squares…Feel free to contribute, or call me a hippie fruitcake.